Navigating Preschool in America: A European Parent's Journey
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Chapter 1: First Impressions of Preschool
This week marked the beginning of our two-year-old daughter's part-time journey at a local preschool in Santa Monica, California. As a European family, with my Danish husband and me, we selected a mid-range option that still came with a hefty price tag of $1,500 a month—a shocking figure for us, but relatively typical in this area.
I was fortunate to be invited to observe my daughter during her initial days, which helped ease her transition. Here are some unexpected insights I gathered.
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Section 1.1: The Overwhelming Paperwork
Before the school year even began, I was handed an overwhelming stack of paperwork to review and sign.
"Is this really necessary for a two-year-old?" I questioned, feeling exasperated.
I counted nine different forms, including a humorous “sunscreen release form” that allowed teachers to apply sunscreen on my daughter. I couldn’t help but wonder, if I can’t trust her teacher with sunscreen, how can I trust her with my child?
Furthermore, I was required to write an extensive description of my daughter’s personality and daily routines, only to have it filed away without any apparent review. A doctor's visit was also needed just to complete yet another formality.
Why has this become a standard expectation for parents in the U.S.?
Section 1.2: Food Culture Shock
Both my husband and I grew up in Europe, where school lunches were hearty, prepared by a caring kitchen staff, and served with an expectation of proper etiquette. Meals were serious affairs, and talking during them was discouraged.
Influenced by the French culinary education model, I aimed to introduce my daughter to a variety of foods at an early age. I succeeded, mostly, but I wouldn’t dare take my food-throwing toddler to France.
In contrast, my husband learned that American food culture often revolves around guilt rather than pleasure. I had hoped for our daughter to enjoy shared meals with her classmates, but I was instructed to send her with a lunch box instead.
“What’s the point of paying for this?” my husband asked, confused.
I felt disheartened as I packed her lunch, especially when, shortly into her first day, the children celebrated a birthday with Cheerios on paper napkins, followed by brownies. I was relieved I had prepared her meal.
My hopes for any meaningful culinary exposure for her in the U.S. were dashed.
Subsection 1.2.1: The Lunch Box Dilemma
My daughter was the only child who brought a (plastic) plate and fork for her lunch, while others had various containers. The next day, I debated whether to continue packing her plate or switch to plastic containers.
Ultimately, I decided to stick with the plate. I wanted her to maintain a sense of proper dining, both at home and in school.
Later, I encountered something called a Child’s Bento Box for sale, which made me realize how ingrained the lunch box culture is in American childhood.
Chapter 2: Teacher's Pressures and Expectations
The first video titled "My Daughter's School Transitioned Her WITHOUT Telling Me - January Littlejohn - YouTube" explores parental concerns regarding school transitions and the lack of communication from educators.
Section 2.1: The Constant Underlying Anxiety
It appears that stress permeates every environment in the U.S. Even in my daughter’s preschool, I noticed the teachers, who were generally sweet and caring, often communicated with a sense of urgency. Small issues, like a malfunctioning diaper genie or a minor schedule delay, seemed to cause them undue stress.
When I shared a lighthearted story about my daughter’s adventurous spirit escaping the classroom, her teacher reacted as if it were a grave failure on her part. She expressed deep concern for my daughter's safety, which I understood, but it highlighted the immense pressure educators face in the U.S. system.
The fear of lawsuits, demanding parents, and various health concerns likely contribute to the stress that transforms nurturing individuals into anxious professionals.
The second video titled "My Child Didn't Talk At School - Here's What I Learnt & What I did - YouTube" discusses the challenges parents face when their children struggle with communication in educational settings.
Section 2.2: The Supply List Surprise
You might expect a private preschool to provide basic necessities, but before my daughter’s first day, we received a list of items we needed to supply: food, water, diapers, wipes, bed sheets, pillows, and sunscreen.
“What are we even paying for?” my husband lamented.
I felt a twinge of embarrassment, wishing we had found a place that would meet all our expectations. However, the only preschool that came close charged an eye-watering $30,000 a year in tuition.
"What a scam," my husband muttered, his go-to phrase for encapsulating our experiences in the U.S.