Navigating Financial Abuse in Divorce: A Personal Journey
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Chapter 1: A Son's Perspective on Financial Loss
“Why is it important to you?” my son asks, looking at me with genuine curiosity. “You always taught us what really matters.”
I pause, reflecting on his words, and glance at my friend beside us. He’s right; I’ve instilled values of priority and importance in my children.
“Honestly, I don’t dwell on it often,” I reply. “But I share my experiences to help other women and kids avoid similar situations. Recently, a close friend told me how inspiring it is to see the joy I maintain, despite what I’ve endured.”
“That’s true,” my friend adds. “You radiate happiness every day.”
“I get it,” my son responds. “But so what? Let him keep it all. You’ve raised us well, instilling the lesson that money isn’t everything.”
Yet today, frustration fills me. It’s difficult to ignore.
I sense my son’s concerns. My boys, now in their twenties, are navigating their careers, and the emotional fallout from their father’s abusive behavior during the divorce weighs heavily on them. My ex-husband’s actions were designed to hurt me, leaving our children to suffer.
He repeatedly canceled their health insurance, which has left lasting scars on their financial futures.
Years later, they struggle to rebuild their credit, often finding themselves ineligible for standard credit cards or limits. They’ve been thrust into adulthood bearing burdens that are not theirs to carry, all because their mother left their father.
Despite this reality, my son is spot on. I raised them to understand what truly matters.
I instilled in them the belief that family and faith are paramount.
“He concealed millions,” I explain. “Funds that he had no right to. It’s illegal and downright abusive. That was my life too—my savings, my security. Watching him squander that money after leaving me in financial ruins feels like adding insult to injury.”
“In my opinion,” my son interjects, “what’s even more infuriating is that some people still fail to see or believe what he put us through. That’s a painful realization.”
“Most people, even his old friends, are well aware of his true character,” I respond. “They see the reality of our situation.”
He’s right; my frustration is palpable.
While it doesn’t happen often, it can resurface.
I want to support my children and mend the damage inflicted upon them, but I’m still grappling with the aftermath of being financially devastated by a vengeful and abusive spouse.
The injustice surrounding divorce is overwhelming.
Illegal and abusive actions often go unpunished.
If a stranger had stolen millions from me, the public would be outraged.
Yet, a man I chose to marry is rewarded for his deceit. He once threatened me, “If you leave, I’ll ensure you’re left with nothing and forced to work for the rest of your life.”
A bully has intimidated and manipulated me.
And the divorce process simply allowed that bully to thrive.
A man retaliating against a woman simply for leaving him.
When you phrase it this way, it becomes absurd. It highlights the troubling nature of divorce. Insecure and immature individuals resort to lies and manipulation out of anger.
“Boo hoo, someone left me,” they lament.
It’s time to grow up and accept responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage.
It’s over, which means consequences follow. Adult decisions and choices must be made. Parenting and finances should be divided fairly.
Once again, it’s time to mature.
Not to act out.
“It’s not about the millions,” I clarify. “It’s the constant anxiety that envelops my life now.”
“I don’t understand why you stress,” my son assures me. “We’ll take care of you one day.”
In moments like these, holding back tears becomes a struggle.
I’ve raised remarkable sons who embody goodness.
I don’t want to burden them.
“No,” I insist. “I will take care of myself. I’m determined to find a way. I refuse to be a weight on your shoulders.”
My son’s query has opened my eyes today.
I realize my financial situation is causing increasing stress.
I genuinely believe I can navigate this.
Yet, five years in, I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I haven’t made more progress. I don’t just need a bit of money; I need a substantial amount.
My ex-husband didn’t merely hide millions of our savings; he also sabotaged my credit, leaving me unable to handle unexpected expenses. Each time I start to rebuild my credit, he undermines my efforts. He recently neglected to pay a student loan he forged in my name.
He continues to haunt me in these ways.
I carry the burden of numerous medical bills, and I worry about the unpaid vet bills, the diligent landscaper owed thousands, and all the other expenses he left behind during our divorce.
I am the one who wants to rectify those wrongs.
No matter how long it takes.
I am responsible for post-divorce legal fees and the loans incurred during the divorce process. I’m in a financial bind and owe a substantial amount.
But this is precisely what he desired.
That’s why I write about financial abuse within divorce, the vulnerabilities faced by stay-at-home mothers, the societal inequities regarding their treatment, the tactics used to conceal assets, and so much more.
He once told me when he forged our son’s student loan, “You didn’t contribute enough to our marriage as a stay-at-home mother, so I’ll leave you with the debt.”
He exists in a distorted reality.
It’s a narrative befitting a diagnosed narcissist at the severe end of the spectrum.
I helped build the business, the investment properties originated from my ideas, I managed the household and its finances, and yes, I raised our children.
What was my significant error?
Aside from marrying him?
It was relinquishing control over finances once I expressed dissatisfaction with our marriage.
I’m grateful to have raised children who understand true values and recognize abuse for what it is.
I’m thankful they acknowledge, “We love our father, but we refuse to emulate him.”
What still weighs heavily on me isn’t just the millions my ex-husband concealed.
It’s the stress he has inflicted on my life.
By methodically dismantling my financial stability.
Chapter 3: Unmasking the Millionaire Dad
In this video, the shocking revelation of a son learning about his father's wealth unfolds, highlighting the unexpected consequences of such discoveries.