Chapter 1: The Nature of Judgment

Let’s be real—how judgmental are you, truly?

Take a moment to reflect on this question. We all possess a certain level of judgment. While I prefer to see myself as open-minded and laid-back, I often find myself being quite critical. And I suspect you might recognize this in yourself as well.

Consider these thoughts that might cross your mind:

“Wow, that was foolish!”—when you realize you took the wrong turn because you misjudged the distance your GPS indicated.

“What on earth is that person wearing?”—when someone's outfit clashes with your personal taste.

“Why am I still single?”—a common lament when you're feeling lonely.

Every time you criticize yourself or look down on past mistakes, you are passing judgment on your own actions. Similarly, when you focus on someone else's quirks and deem them inferior, that’s judgment too. Whenever you perceive a situation or outcome negatively, you are judging it.

That persistent, often critical voice in your head? It’s your inner Judge, and it’s time to confront it.

While this internal critic is part of our identity, it often leads to negative feelings such as envy, dissatisfaction, anxiety, shame, and guilt. These emotions are the result of this relentless inner judgment.

From an evolutionary perspective, this Judge emerged to help us survive. It enabled us to make crucial distinctions about safety—what foods were edible, and what threats might be approaching. However, it didn't account for the modern conveniences of our lives, such as pre-packaged food or the unlikelihood of facing immediate danger from wild animals, unless perhaps you're in a specific scenario like the Maasai Mara during migration.

The key takeaway is that our inner Judge evolved to protect us. But given our unique backgrounds and needs, these judges manifest differently in each of us.

Broadly, our judgment may surface in three primary ways:

1. Critiquing ourselves.
2. Judging others.
3. Evaluating our circumstances or outcomes.

Any combination of these can occur at any time.

For example, I have a client whose inner Judge becomes particularly vocal when she encounters women dressed in a manner she deems provocative. Her instinctive reaction is to label them as “attention-seeking bad girls.” This perspective stems from her upbringing in a conservative environment where sensuality was frowned upon. To avoid being judged herself, she learned to see others as flawed instead.

Even now, despite having distanced herself from those beliefs, her inner Judge continues to reinforce those outdated associations. We all carry experiences that shape the strength of our inner Judge, whether we are conscious of them or not.

Initially, the Judge's role may seem beneficial, but issues arise when we fail to recognize that its viewpoint no longer serves our best interests. This inner voice can lead to internal conflicts and friction with those around us.

The Judge is skilled at persuading us of its necessity:

“You won’t succeed without pushing yourself to the limit.”

“Let’s review that to-do list one more time—sleep can wait.”

“If this pitch fails, my career is doomed.”

Hello, perfectionism! That’s your Judge talking.

“Don’t emulate those party-goers; they’ll never succeed. You need my insights to safeguard yourself by recognizing how foolish others are.” Yep, that’s your Judge again.

“If you don’t feel bad about how terrible your life might become, you won’t be motivated to change it.” You guessed it—your Judge.

Does any of this resonate with you? How powerful is your inner Judge, and what areas does it focus on? Have you taken the time to ponder why that is?

This discussion draws inspiration from a coaching tool called Positive Intelligence, which identifies ten personality facets that often hinder our progress toward realizing our full potential.

If you’re curious about these internal characters and how they manifest in our lives, let me know in the comments. I’d be delighted to share more insights!

The first video, "How Judgmental Are You?" offers a reflective perspective on our judgmental tendencies. It encourages viewers to consider their self-judgment and the impact it has on their lives.

The second video, "Are You JUDGY? Philip Yancey," presents a thought-provoking discussion on the nature of judgment and its relevance in our daily interactions.

In this series, we will continue to explore the inner workings of our minds and the various personalities that influence our actions.