Chapter 1: The Dilemma of Living Authentically

Are you truly living your life, or merely following the path that others have set for you?

Have you ever made a transformative choice that contradicted the desires of your family, friends, or societal norms? A decision that involved considerable risks and potential loss? Years ago, I made a bold choice to leave the familiar comforts of my southern hometown to embark on a new journey on the west coast, without any friends, family, or support.

"What was I thinking?" I often pondered. Yet, it wasn't so much my own reasoning that guided me; it felt as if a different part of me had taken the reins. This inner voice made the audacious choice to relocate, leaving me to justify this move to those around me who were disappointed.

Strangely enough, I have no regrets about that decision. As impulsive as it may have appeared, in retrospect, it was perfectly timed. I often express gratitude to that hidden part of myself for its bravery in making such a bold choice.

The Inner Conflict: Two Minds at Play

Throughout my 30-year career, I've engaged with countless individuals, delving into their aspirations, fears, and dreams. A common thread I’ve discovered is that most people operate with two distinct mindsets:

One, which I’ll refer to as the "public persona," represents the conscious, rational side shaped by external influences and expectations. The other, known as the "inner self," operates on a more subconscious level, pursuing goals independent of societal validation. This inner self seeks a higher purpose, striving for growth and the realization of our true potential.

These two aspects often clash, creating tension within us as they vie for control over our decisions. Their conflicting agendas can lead to feelings of unease, manifesting in strange dreams, peculiar behaviors, and persistent anxieties.

A common pitfall is failing to heed the call of our inner self. We often shy away from embracing its dreams, fearing they clash with the expectations of those around us. Consequently, we end up living a life that feels provisional, rather than one that aligns with our true calling.

The Call of the Inner Self

Every day, our inner self beckons us to chart a new course, yet our public persona frequently dominates our decision-making. Despite this, the inner self remains relentless, accompanying us through life and, on occasion, seizing control to redirect us onto paths that allow for exploration and self-discovery, even if they go against the grain of external approval.

The Four Quarters of Life: A Framework for Direction

When it comes to the paths we choose, I usually categorize them into four broad quarters: 1) security, 2) stability, on the left side, and 3) adventure, 4) discovery, on the right side. The left quarters prioritize safety, while the right ones are geared towards deeper self-exploration and enlightenment.

Reflect on the pivotal decisions you've made: were they driven by a desire for security and stability, or were they motivated by adventure and discovery? In some cases, they may reflect your true desires, while in others, they could stem from a sense of obligation to others. If obligation is the primary driver, it’s likely you are not living your most authentic life.

Although living a life of sacrifice may seem noble, the further you stray from your true path, the louder your inner self will protest. If ignored, this discontent can manifest in unexpected ways, leading to outbursts and confusion for both you and those around you.

Movement Through Life's Quarters

Most individuals are in a constant state of flux, striving to fill one of these quarters before transitioning to the next. Similar to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, once a person feels secure, they often find themselves looking toward adventure and discovery, as seen on social media.

However, not everyone begins their journey seeking stability. Many pursue freedom in their youth, engaging in activities like surfing and traveling, only to later conform to traditional corporate roles. Conversely, some may dedicate their lives to their careers, only to later embrace a more adventurous lifestyle unexpectedly.

Generational Reflections on Life's Quarters

Upon encountering George Bernard Shaw's quote, "Youth is wasted on the young," I initially dismissed it as the cynical musings of an aging individual. Yet, as I progressed in my career, I began to recognize the profound truth in his words, highlighting our often misguided priorities.

Youth provides an abundance of energy and autonomy, yet many young individuals rush into financial commitments that tether them to a life of obligation and debt. These heavy burdens often lead to a mid-life crisis, where individuals question their choices and seek to reclaim lost opportunities for adventure.

The emotional pain associated with this realization may be misinterpreted as depression, prompting individuals to seek medication rather than considering the possibility that it signifies a yearning for freedom from a life dictated by others.

As we age, we may begin to dream of new adventures, whether it’s moving abroad, pursuing archaeology, or embarking on a new career path. Some muster the courage to pursue these dreams, while others only fantasize about them until it’s too late.

Integrating Personal and Professional Life

What does all this have to do with business? I recognize that I’m intertwining personal insights with professional guidance, but this is essential. Our lives are deeply intertwined with our work, and we must understand how it impacts our inner selves.

At various points in our journey, we each seek security, stability, adventure, and enlightenment. Brands can significantly influence our transitions between these quarters, but leaders must ask two critical questions:

1. Does your brand promise focus on Security/Stability or Adventure/Discovery?
2. Are your customers in search of Security/Stability or Adventure/Discovery?

The most effective brands facilitate a "state change" for their audience, equipping them with the necessary tools and guidance to reach their next life stage. It’s crucial for us to evaluate our current quarter and determine if it aligns with our true desires or if we need the courage to explore new horizons.

In "Your 4th Quarter Plan," explore strategies to effectively plan for the final quarter of the year. Gain insights on how to align your goals with personal aspirations.

"1 Crucial Way to Make Your Life Better in the 4th Quarter" discusses essential steps to enhance your life as the year winds down. Discover actionable advice to elevate your well-being.