Finding Your Place: The Power of Belonging Affirmations
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Chapter 1: Understanding Belonging
You've just enrolled in a new dance class, and as you step through the door, a question lingers in your mind: "Do I truly belong here?"
To feel accepted, you might go out of your way to fit in, attempting to persuade others—and perhaps yourself—that you have a rightful place among them.
Recently, I became a member of a Toastmasters club, a supportive environment aimed at enhancing public speaking and leadership skills. Individuals eager to improve their oratory skills regularly attend, often starting as guests before deciding to become members and engaging in more extensive practice. My initial thought was, "Once I pay my dues, I will belong!"
However, that wasn’t entirely the case. Even as a paying member, I still felt somewhat disconnected. Many participants had been involved for years—some for as long as a decade. I assumed that by taking on roles, delivering speeches, and even leading sessions, I would finally feel integrated. But that wasn’t enough.
Perhaps it’s a question of time; if I stick around for a year, I would surely feel at home, and others would recognize my presence too.
This is where many of us find ourselves ensnared.
The Belonging Trap
The Belonging Trap occurs when we wait for external validation—whether from a person or situation—to affirm our place in a group.
Photo by Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash
Imagine starting a new job and pondering, "How will I fit in?" You might wait for a warm welcome from your supervisor or for colleagues to embrace you. The timeline for that approval can be uncertain. By the time you feel accepted, you may have inadvertently allowed others to shape your identity and influence how you see yourself.
Consequently, you may find yourself adopting a version of yourself that feels unfamiliar.
While some individuals may thrive by accepting others' perceptions of them, many experience the opposite effect. The individuals defining your identity often do so from a perspective that doesn’t elevate you.
Before entering any new space or attending your first gathering at a job or club, replace the thought of "Do I belong here?" with this empowering affirmation: "I belong everywhere I go."
This mindset shift can help you move from seeking validation to actively participating in conversations and finding your own sense of approval. You’ll begin to discern whether the people around you are conducive to your growth rather than altering yourself to meet their expectations.
At Toastmasters, during a Christmas Potluck gathering, I aimed to engage in conversations with the belief that I belonged. Although I had moments of self-doubt, I gradually overcame the insecurity associated with the affirmation "I belong everywhere I go." To my surprise, the past president of the club waved goodbye, expressing her hope to see me more often now that I was a member. It was enlightening to realize that my sense of belonging grew from my own belief rather than from others' validation.
This affirmation has become a powerful tool I wish I had discovered sooner. When you feel a sense of belonging and are affirmed by those around you, you become unstoppable. Gaining support from individuals who share your goals will only enhance your journey.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
Chapter 2: Embracing the Power of Affirmations
The first video, "FNAF SISTER LOCATION RAP by JT Music - 'You Belong Here'," explores themes of belonging and acceptance through a creative narrative.
The second video, "You Belong Here," reinforces the importance of recognizing your place in various environments and emphasizes self-acceptance.