Chapter 1: The Impact of Parental Struggles

Experiencing the challenges of family failure can be quite daunting. As children, we often find that our parents attempt to shield us from the harsh realities through various distractions like school activities, family trips, and infrequent gatherings with friends. However, the underlying tensions from their disagreements and emotional struggles often shatter the comforting illusion they try to create.

My father earned his Ph.D. in Food Science from the University of Madison-Wisconsin and worked as a microbiologist. By 2001, he was rapidly advancing in his career at Doosan Corp, a significant South Korean conglomerate. With the growing global interest in Asian cuisine, he became renowned for developing a type of Kimchi that was more palatable to Western tastes.

His background and expertise inspired him to venture into entrepreneurship, leading him to establish a kimchi factory in the Netherlands. While the title suggests a familiar narrative of failure, it’s crucial to understand that the downfall of his business wasn’t due to poor leadership or a subpar product. My father was deeply committed to his employees and continuously refined his recipe. As Bill Gross pointed out in his TED Talk, the issue at hand was primarily about timing.

The harsh realities of failure often become evident only after the chaos subsides, revealing the devastation left in its wake. When we lived in the Netherlands, our family enjoyed a beautiful home by a serene lake and had friendly neighbors in an excellent school district. However, this façade eventually crumbled, and my sister and I had to confront the truth that our circumstances were merely an illusion.

After closing the kimchi factory, we returned to South Korea and found ourselves living in a cramped 250-square-foot space within our church. We squeezed all our belongings to one side and used the other for sleeping.

Coming to terms with failure is never easy; it often carries a sense of shame. My parents have always struggled to discuss our time in the Netherlands, as it was a period marked by trauma and frustration. They quickly shifted their focus to financial recovery, juggling multiple jobs to provide for my sister and me while trying to regain their footing in the eyes of friends and family.

Witnessing my parents endure this hardship was challenging. As a child, I felt powerless, unable to engage in meaningful conversations that might offer comfort or take on any financial responsibilities due to my age. I could only observe.

Over the years, our family gradually rebuilt our lives. My sister and I eventually moved back to the United States, where we pursued education and opportunities that might have been out of reach in South Korea.

Of course, my perspective was limited; I didn’t share the same burdens as my parents. Their journey to recovery required immense effort and selflessness, enabling us to seek an education abroad. Through their experience, I learned that recovery is indeed possible. If one can bounce back from setbacks, then taking risks to pursue personal goals becomes a responsibility. If you’re unsure about your path, it’s essential to take risks and give yourself the time to discover your direction.

As first-generation immigrants, my parents consistently advocated for safety and stability throughout my upbringing. However, they inadvertently instilled in me the importance of taking risks. Risk is often a daunting choice, as Reid Hoffman aptly described: "starting a company is like jumping off a cliff and assembling a plane on the way down." While the perception of risk varies from person to person, avoiding risk can lead to a life devoid of fulfillment. To sidestep regret in the end, embrace the unknown. If things don’t pan out, find a way to rebuild and try again.

Chapter 2: Insights from My Parents' Journey

In this enlightening video, the founder of Spanx shares how her father's encouragement to embrace failure shaped her entrepreneurial journey. It highlights the vital role of resilience in achieving success.

This video discusses the common pitfalls parents encounter with their adult children, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in familial relationships.