Chapter 1: Acknowledging the Problem

This might be uncomfortable to hear, but acknowledging one’s struggles is a crucial first step, right?

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I have a habit of biting my nails—an unfortunate one, to say the least. I can only imagine the "EWWW" reactions this admission might provoke among some readers. It's a thought that echoes in my mind as I type this.

This self-destructive habit has been a part of my life since I was about six years old—possibly even earlier, although I can’t recall. When I find myself alone, or in casual settings, my fingers often find their way to my mouth. In social situations, I tend to hide my hands under the table, picking at my nails. Despite my efforts to keep them neat, the reality is that my cuticles are far from perfect.

Interestingly, there's a medical term for this behavior: onychophagia. It seems I have a recognized disorder. Psychiatrists categorize nail-biting with self-harm, suggesting it’s a form of self-destructive behavior. However, considering I’ve been engaging in this habit for nearly five decades, I wonder if I’m simply not very good at self-destruction—or if perhaps the diagnosis is off.

According to research published in the International Journal of Women’s Dermatology, prevention is crucial. If only my childhood had involved a dedicated team of specialists—a dermatologist, dentist, psychiatrist, and social worker—to teach me that self-harm isn’t the way to succeed. The study indicates that around 37% of children engage in nail-biting, so while some of you may be cringing as you read this, it’s likely that about one in three of you can relate.

Moreover, it’s worth noting that approximately 30% of those with onychophagia have a family member who also struggles with it. (What a relief! It’s nice to know I'm not entirely to blame for this habit.) It’s not just self-harm; it’s an oral fixation. I often find my hand in my mouth without even realizing it. Additionally, the habit is often triggered by an annoyance, like a rough cuticle or an uneven nail.

I’ve managed to go extended periods without biting my nails, even training myself to resist the urge during significant events, like my wedding—when I wanted to avoid looking like a nervous child in pictures showcasing the ring.

Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash

There have been times when I’ve had the means to treat myself to acrylic nails, and I loved how they made my fingers look longer and more elegant. However, like many things in life, these breaks from biting were always short-lived. The past few years have been particularly challenging. If you were to look at my hands, you might think I had endured some sort of torment. And yes, there are days when the pain is palpable, but not enough to deter me.

Nothing has yet managed to stop me—not unpleasant-tasting ointments, not even the discipline of my past educators, nor my grandmother's offers of a manicure if I stopped biting my nails.

Photo by Alexis Baydoun on Unsplash

For a long time, I felt this habit was unfixable because I didn’t even recognize it as a problem. However, as I delve deeper into self-development and aim to improve myself, I realize my lack of confidence is evident in my hands. If I aspire to succeed in a new career as a personal development speaker (yes, McConaughey, I’m coming for you), I must confront my weaknesses, which includes stopping this nail-biting habit.

Despite this realization, I’ve struggled to find a solution. It’s so ingrained in my behavior that asking myself to stop biting my nails feels akin to telling a zombie to stop groaning when part of its face is falling off. (Okay, perhaps that’s a bit extreme, but I felt the need to inject some humor into my nail-biting confession. I promise, I’m not as grotesque as a zombie.)

So, I turned to a book for guidance—The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal. I’m only about 20 pages in, but one pivotal idea struck me (like a revelation).

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She discusses the resolutions we often set for ourselves: “I will” or “I won’t.” For example:

• I will exercise every day.
• I won’t eat the entire cake.

However, what truly matters in these declarations is understanding our "why" (a nod to Simon Sinek) or what McGonigal refers to as our “want.” While I hadn’t paid much attention to my nail-biting, I am acutely aware of why I want to stop.

Why do I want to break this habit? Because it’s a part of my personal development journey. I aspire to be a public speaker, and I don’t want to appear anxious and unkempt. (As I write this, I’m observing my dog licking her paws and acting oddly.)

And you know what? It’s starting to work. Throughout the day, whenever I feel an uneven nail or cuticle, I remind myself of my goal instead of reverting to the default behavior of biting or pulling. It’s only been three days, but I feel optimistic that this attempt will be successful.

(It has to be, especially since I just shared my struggle with the entire Medium community—acknowledging a habit most people typically outgrow before reaching their twenties.)

I believe I can overcome it. More than being a nail biter, I am a goal-oriented individual. When I set my sights on something, I pursue it relentlessly. Self-improvement is something I take immense pride in.

Thanks for reading. Now, I invite you to share your own bad habits. It’s only fair.

Chapter 2: Understanding Disgust in Communication

This video explores the various ways we express disgust in the English language, providing advanced vocabulary lessons to enhance communication skills.

This informative video delves into the science behind disgust, offering insights into this complex emotion and how it affects our interactions.