Chapter 1: The Flaws in "Just Be Yourself"

The phrase "just be yourself" is commonly shared as advice, particularly when someone feels uncertain about how to navigate a situation. This is especially prevalent for men when expressing feelings toward someone they are attracted to. In these moments, individuals often struggle to articulate their thoughts and may feel completely blank at the most critical times.

At that point, the version of yourself that emerges is one defined by uncertainty—showing that you're unsure how to handle the interaction. Perhaps you're feeling anxious or worried about potential rejection. The idea of being your "authentic" self in these circumstances is unrealistic. We often wear various personas throughout our lives: at work, in the gym, and even at home.

This brings to mind an insightful Japanese proverb. It suggests that we present three distinct faces to the world: "The first face is what you show to others. The second face is reserved for close friends and family. The third face is the one you keep hidden from everyone, representing your true self."

In this context, the typical response to the advice of being "yourself" is to reveal your second face to someone you like. However, this person only knows the facade you present, not your deeper self, and you have no guarantee of their trustworthiness. Consequently, our instinctive defense mechanisms activate.

To some extent, it is necessary to adopt a new persona to reveal a different aspect of yourself when it truly matters. Almost everyone employs a "fake it till you make it" approach. While I have previously discussed the potential downsides of this, the essential point is that even if you start by pretending, the goal should be to become the new version of yourself that you are projecting.

Consider the scenario where you are shy yet desire to engage with others. Initially, you might feign extroversion to strike up conversations. However, as you practice interacting with people, you gradually become more socialized. You may have begun by pretending, and some might even call you out on it, saying, "Aren't you shy?" Yet, over time, conversing with others can transform into your new normal. In this way, you are no longer the same person; you've evolved.

This illustrates why I believe that "just be yourself" is some of the worst guidance you can receive. While you possess the potential for great achievements, that does not mean you automatically embody those capabilities until you put them to the test.

This principle applies across various facets of life, particularly in health, wealth, and relationships. To attain wealth or fitness, you must adopt the habits that lead to those outcomes. If you remain complacent, those aspirations will not materialize by chance. Developing discipline, maintaining a balanced diet, and adhering to a workout regimen are essential. Consistency is key.

Regarding finances, the same logic applies. It's important to learn how to make your money work for you. While I won't prescribe a one-size-fits-all solution, experimenting with different business models is one of the quickest ways to learn and potentially synthesize these ideas into a unique business strategy. The ultimate goal should be to establish passive income, granting you the freedom to engage in activities you enjoy.

In every scenario, remaining static and merely being yourself is not an option. This narrative serves only as a comforting excuse. Embracing reality is crucial. I acknowledge my imperfections and recognize that growth is necessary. This understanding helps me identify areas for improvement.

Focus on identifying skills you need to develop to conquer your fears. Through repeated efforts, you can evolve into a better version of yourself. This journey involves stepping out of your comfort zone to face greater challenges and attain your desires. Cultivate the motivation to begin, and gradually convert that motivation into lasting habits.

Establishing a habit does not take just 21 days; it's a lifelong journey. Your commitment will demonstrate whether you possess the discipline required to realize your true potential.

Chapter 2: Transforming Your Approach to Life

The video titled "Being Yourself" explores the nuances of authenticity and the pitfalls of the advice to simply be yourself. It delves into how personal growth often requires more than just being comfortable with who you are.