The Illusions of Professionalism: Jermont Evans on LinkedIn
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Chapter 1: Introduction to Jermont
While sifting through my LinkedIn connections, I stumbled upon Jermont Evans, a local resident who seems to be portraying a more polished professional image than reality suggests.
Meet Jermont, a 25-year-old living in El Paso, Texas. His profile picture lacks clarity, much like his headline which reads, "Accounting Major and Future CPA." It appears he's studying a field he hasn't yet mastered, but his aspirations seem to suggest he's already in the workforce.
The profile seems to be a product of peer influence, as he comes across more like a college student than a professional. Thankfully, he has assured us of his future CPA status—employers, take note! Mr. Evans has "future capital gains" listed on his Balance Sheet.
I quickly scanned his biography:
"I am currently a senior attending Western Kentucky University, and have been since my freshman year. I am an accounting major eager to tackle numbers."
"In case you were curious about my senior status, I started as a freshman."
Thrilling, isn't it? And as an accounting major ready to "fight" with numbers, it appears he might be more suited for a different kind of battle. Why was he afraid of the number 7? Because 7 8 9—a classic joke!
Jermont’s LinkedIn writing suggests he's not truly connected to the platform's professional ethos. Is it not the quintessential college sentiment to declare, "I'm excited to conquer the abstract values of a profession I have yet to enter"? But isn't that how we all feel during our college years?
Many students overlook the harsh realities that await them post-graduation. They often remain blissfully unaware of the corporate hierarchies that can seem overwhelming. Yet, Jermont is making an effort to impress future employers:
"I've taken various math courses throughout high school and college, and I believe I'm among the strongest in this subject."
Wait, what? You think you're among the "strongest" in the vast realm of mathematics simply because you've attended a few classes? That’s quite a stretch, my friend.
Does Jermont really think his limited experience qualifies him for the demanding role of an accountant? His bio wraps up with:
"I intend to apply my skills to help others achieve and maintain their financial goals."
Yes, Jermont, by all means—put those "skills" to the test! Living in Texas, why not try them out at the local Bucee's? "Jerky Bar Bandit" sounds far more thrilling than "Certified Public Accountant."
You might be wondering about Jermont's qualifications. What experiences has he had that could possibly instill such confidence and flair in this aspiring accountant? Let's delve into his work history.
Section 1.1: Jermont's Work Experience
It seems Jermont’s most notable experience on LinkedIn is his brief tenure at Buffalo Wild Wings in 2019, where he lasted a mere seven months. His other claim to fame is a three-month stint at a Speedway gas station in Indiana, which he cheekily refers to as a "winter vacation."
As we peel back the layers of Jermont's experience, we watch him transition from Indiana to delivering pizzas in Kentucky. After mastering the operations at Burger King, he shares:
"This was my first job, and I was told I could have a managerial position. The only issue was that I had to leave for school, and they couldn't afford to pay for my absence."
He seems to imply he could negotiate a remote management role—how ambitious! However, it’s baffling that he expected to be compensated while not present at the restaurant.
Section 1.2: Education and Extracurriculars
Jermont's educational background looks respectable. In high school, he was involved in multiple sports and activities, including basketball, football, marching band, and track. Sources claim he was dedicated enough to rush back from halftime to play the trumpet. Now that’s commitment!
And what about his volunteer work?
Subsection 1.2.1: Volunteer Achievements
Jermont proudly highlights his community service, stating:
"For over eight years, I have devoted my time to distributing water or Gatorade to runners and cheering them on."
What a display of courage and sacrifice—handing out drinks while motivating athletes! Truly commendable work. 👏
Chapter 2: A Comedic Reflection on Professionalism
The video titled "Fired for Liking a LinkedIn Post?!" humorously explores the consequences of social media interactions in professional settings, perfectly aligning with Jermont's attempts to navigate his LinkedIn presence.