Exploring the Pleasure and Risks of Choking in BDSM Practices
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Understanding the Appeal of Choking
What drives individuals to find pleasure in choking? Is it solely to satisfy a partner, or is there a deeper reason at play?
This article is part of a series aimed at highlighting the dangers associated with choking, which can lead to brain damage or even death. It is strongly advised against practicing choking without full awareness of the risks involved. Nevertheless, many individuals report a sense of pleasure from the experience.
In a survey conducted by Herbenick et al. (2022b), they found that 41.1% of participants who had been choked described it as highly pleasurable, while 33.8% deemed it somewhat enjoyable. Only a small fraction, 3.1%, reported a complete lack of pleasure, indicating that the majority of respondents found some level of enjoyment in the act. Additionally, 5.9% stated they would engage in choking even if they did not personally enjoy it, simply to satisfy their partner's desires. It's essential to recognize that engaging in a sexual act for the sake of a partner's pleasure does not equate to non-consensuality.
Interestingly, a higher percentage of women compared to men found choking pleasurable, with 50% of undergraduate women versus 26.8% of undergraduate men indicating it was very pleasurable. Among graduate students, the figures were 36.1% for women and 16.3% for men. This trend suggests that the appeal of breath play is prevalent, contributing to its rising popularity, despite its dangerous connotations.
Consent in Choking Scenarios
When it comes to consent, a staggering 92.1% of respondents who experienced choking indicated that it was consensual (Herbenick et al., 2022b). This statistic remained consistent across genders and educational levels. Among those who had experienced choking, 76.5% of women, 85.6% of men, and 63.6% of non-binary individuals affirmed that all their choking encounters were consensual.
A broader survey about sexual practices among college students (Herbenick et al., 2021) revealed that 21% of those who had been choked reported never having been asked for consent prior to the act. Furthermore, 32% indicated that consent was sought only occasionally. A qualitative study (Herbenick et al., 2022a) highlighted that many women’s initial encounters with choking occurred without prior discussion or explicit consent. Often, consent was either assumed or requested during the act, placing it in a gray area.
It's important to note that this research focused on college students rather than the BDSM community, which typically emphasizes a strong culture of consent. The students involved also perceived choking to be safer than other forms of kink, a belief that has been propagated by media portrayals (Herbenick et al., 2023).
Insights from Fetlife
To further investigate, I conducted my own survey on Fetlife, titled "What Do You Like About Being Choked?" I posed questions regarding the experiences of individuals who engage in choking, seeking insights into its psychological and physical effects.
I received 12 responses, predominantly from women (10) and non-binary individuals (2), with no male participants. The respondents identified themselves in various ways: four as submissive, one as a slave, three as masochists, one as a little, and three as exploratory.
The reasons given for enjoying choking included:
- Surrender (9 responders): A sense of loss of control and vulnerability, along with the thrill of submitting to a dominant partner.
- Fear (5 responders): An element of challenge and overcoming panic.
- Trust (4 responders): A feeling of safety in the hands of the choker.
- Euphoria (4 responders): Experiences of lightheadedness and physical pleasure.
- Intensified sensations (4 responders): Heightened physical experiences, including orgasms.
- Calmness despite risk (3 responders): A paradoxical sense of safety and tranquil